I'm here. Wish you were gay.

Sailing on Sunbeams

Don't throw me in that briar patch, Br'er Bear

Every Castle Needs A Queen

Being Wrong, By Being Right

Some years ago I was in a stationary store with a lesbian friend and my then boyfriend. When the Middle-Eastern proprietor said something homophobic to us (I don't remember what) I said something defiant to him (I don't remember that either) and stormed out.

Seething on the sidewalk, I vowed to never again patronize the establishment owned by an old-world bigot. I comforted myself in the knowledge that I was in the right ... but not just right ... right and superior.

Meanwhile, inside the store, my far-less-quick-tempered friend was having this conversation with the man....

“They are sinning against God,” the man said.

“My God just wants us to love each other.”

“I like your God.”

My boycott of a single ball-point pen would not have brought his business crumbling down with the man crawling on his knees begging for forgiveness. Had it been the end of the encounter, my self-righteousness would certainly only have hardened the man’s position. So proud I was of my words at the time, yet how telling I cannot recall them now?

I have a deep and powerful need to be right, about nearly everything. While this attitude does allow me to conduct myself with a certain amount of confidence, make no mistake, it is a serious character flaw. Left unmoderated this need makes a person arrogant, rude, annoying, boorish and repellent.

My friend’s humility and cheerful nature opened the door to a shift in attitude ... a door I smugly slammed shut. When she told me of their conversation I didn’t tell her I was ashamed of myself in light of her far superior example.

So I try to set aside the ego of being right. It's not easy for me.

The fabulous Wildfire Retreat I attended this weekend was at a boy scout camp. I didn’t know this until I arrived and since I refuse to support organizations with anti-gay policies it made me angry. But I tried to let it go.

At the retreat’s first town hall meeting a pleasant and gregarious man stood on a table and announced he was from the Boy Scouts and 300 artists cheered. I seethed. “Really? Not one single objection? Artists should know better,” I thought and felt betrayed. I fantasized about the defiant protest I hadn’t made.

“You’re a scout? I’m an Eagle Scout,” I’d have said.

“Wonderful,” he’d reply.

“Too bad you bunch of homophobes would have kicked me out if you’d known I was gay in my teens.”

I imagined shame for him, moral victory for me and the cheers of artists who’d suddenly remember their political correctness.

Yeah, right.

My only achievement would have been to show myself to be a giant jackass. Fortunately I held my tongue, although I claim no credit for this restraint.

Toward the end of the retreat a quiet moment presented itself and I got to chat with the scout master who also turned out to be the camp chaplain. He is a warm and sensitive man. When I told him I’m an Eagle Scout he beamed with pride as he told me that brought the count to 12 for the event.

I told him how grateful I am that the crises management skills the scouts gave me have allowed me to help others need over the years. I told him about the man at the card game who needed my help and how my first aid training comes in handy every few years. And then I said, ever so gently, “I worry about what would have happened to all those people who needed help in a crisis if the scouts had kicked me out for being gay.”

He was genuinely distressed at this and after a thoughtful pause he said, “Nothing like that would happen here. Everyone is welcome here. You are welcome here.”

We went on to discuss how a New England scout camp is a very different place and that the homophobia of the scouts emanates from Texas. (The Mormons who sponsor more U.S. scout troops than anyone else have a lot to do with it too.)

I told the chaplain how I’d received an invitation from the scouts to join their new Eagle Scouts Club but how I could never do so while the policy remained.

“Nothing can take from me the achievement of being an Eagle Scout, but the badge itself, which came from the organization and sits in a box under my bed is tarnished. It saddens me. If the policy was changed, the tarnish would be lifted and maybe then I might take it out and frame it. I wish I could be proud of it again.”

The chaplain was saddened by this and also hopeful. He thanked me for sharing my story with him and said that after every event he’s required to report to his superiors. He said he tell them my story.

The chaplain showed me the prayer flags in his chapel of which he is so proud. He gave me a great, big, strong hug in his great, big, strong arms and I had my first positive feelings about the scouts in twenty years.

By setting aside my need to be right, I was given the opportunity to add one more little seed of change to the garden of progress in which so many have toiled for so long.

My Niece is Love

Wildfire Spring 2009

I can hardly put into words what an exhilarating experience my weekend retreat was. Every minute of every day was filled with art and artists, learning and sharing, awe and beauty. I'm truly blessed and humbled to have the opportunity to have such wonderful experiences.

I didn't take as many photos as I would have liked because I was so busy learning, performing and enjoying the other performances that I just didn't have the time. Here are some highlights.

Darrel, the hoopin', spinnin' cowboy and Crystal, who got me into all this nonsense. You're both awesome.

Our fearless leader, Chad. What an great guy.

A new friendship is born.

Fabulousness abounds.

Hoopers are adorable. I'm glad poi fit in a bag.

Fun with Kite Poi

My latest fabulous poi video is up from Wildfire 2009.

The Road To My Happy Place

Go Cowgirl!

Look At Me! I'm Old!

Using advanced digital imaging systems, at the spectacular cost of millions of dollars, we have created this simulation of me as a crotchety, 80-year-old man. Alas, my dashing good looks have faded. But at least incontinence hasn't robbed me of the joy of beer.

iPhone Fanboy

A photo of my new iPhone ... taken with my old iPhone.

iPhone 3G S Mania - 7 AM at The Apple Store

Detroit Diesel

It's Here! It's Here! It's Here!

iPhone Update 3.0 is here! Look! I'm copying and pasting. ZOMG! I'm doing it right now! Look! I just did it again! I may faint.

Attentive Service

C'mon, Luftansa! Just come out and say it. "Our stewardesses will blow you."

They're Just Teasing Us

Seriously, WTF? Someone built a poison water fountain.

People in Boxes

My weekend was full of beautiful art, beautiful people, fabulous fun and passion. I am a fortunate and happy man.

I made a little photo essay at the Figment festival. For maximum enjoyment, set your screen to it's highest resolution (at least 1280 x 1024 if you can). I hope you enjoy it.

People in Boxes - Figment 2009

Your New Obsession

I'm only going to say this once. So is everyone paying attention?

PLANTS vs ZOMBIES

Seriously. What else do you need?

Who's Your Daddy?

Contrary to what people say ...



... smoking a cigar is not like sucking cock.



It's like having an extra cock ...



... that you get to wave in people's faces.

(Just so ya know, I only smoke at weddings and strip clubs. Smoking is nasty. Just say no, kids.)

Gay Weddings Are Just So Cute I Can't Stand It

Behold, The Temple of Nerd

The Reds Are Coming!

Ravenchase is a fabulous scavenger hunt / mystery on June 14. This year it's a retro communist invasion theme. It's free, but you MUST reserve a ticket and they are going fast.

Almost A Gift

I was charged with buying the gift certificate that three friends were giving to a buddy getting married. I failed completely. Since I didn't want to show up at the wedding empty handed, this is what I brought.

Portable Speakers for Outdoor Fun

A lot of people have complimented me on and asked about the portable iPod/iPhone speakers I use at poi spin meetups. I did a lot of research and think the Griffin Journi speakers offer the best combo of sound, price and size for rechargeable portable speakers. The built in folding stand/case is absolutely brilliant. And it's small enough to fit in my poi bag.

They are now discontinued but that just means you can now get them for less than $50. They don't officially support the iPhone, but they work with it just fine if you put the iPhone into Airplane mode.

HOWEVER, when the new iPhones are unveiled next month, I think there will also be a new wave of cool accessories. So unless you absolutely must get something this very minute you might want to wait.

Not As Sexy As You Might Think

The Greatest Joke Ever Told

Last night I saw the greatest joke I have ever seen. I am utterly beside myself. If I live a thousand years I'll never tell a joke this good. At a fabulous, expensive, traditional Jewish wedding, in a majestic hall filled with flowers, surrounded by gardens, for 200 of his friends and family, the groom gave a beautiful, touching, heartfelt, solemn speech about the key to a successful wedding:

Communication, Love, Integrity, Trust.

Perhaps someday I will be fortunate enough to get my own heart's desire:

A Nice Understanding Soul.

Snicker

Only In New York City ...

... do you ever to see a drag queen in full makeup, going to the airport with a suitcase, wearing a winter parka and knitting.

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