Consumption vs. Creation

Last night I spent 9 hours helping my friend Ilan assemble the home theater system we designed together. I drilled. He hammered. I sawed. He cleaned. We lifted, plugged and crawled around on the floor for hours stringing cables (my favorite activity in the whole world.) When we were done we'd created an elegant, sophisticated system that makes a nice center piece to the living room of his new apartment.

We had a custom cabinet made at Gothic Cabinet. I love that place. Don't let their shabby-looking showrooms fool you. They do amazing work. You can walk in with a sketch on a napkin and they'll render a precise diagram and build a beautiful piece of well-crafted, solid-wood furniture and stain it to any color for less money than a lot of the fiberboard crap from Ikea.

When we were done, to christen Ilan's new system, we watched Butterfly Effect. This is a favorite movie of mine, and not just for the Ashton Kutcher prison sex scene.

It's about a boy with troubled childhood who later, in his early 20s, discovers he can change the past. He does so with the best intentions, hoping to fix the mistakes of his youth and improve his life and the lives of those he cares about.

But, as you'd expect, it all goes horribly wrong. Each change for the better also comes with side effects for the worse. And each subsequent attempt to fix these complications continues a downward spiral until he finally concludes he'd be better off dead.

I won't spoil the ending for you. But I will say that if you see it, be sure to watch the Director's Cut! The theatrical release has this crap Hollywood ending the studio made the creators put on it that totally ruins the message of the film. The Director's Cut has the ending the creators originally envisioned. It's a dark ending to a dark film, as it should be. (Why do Americans need everything to have a happy ending? How very sad and shallow.)

The message of the film with its original ending restored is ... be happy with who you are and your past including your mistakes, including the bad parts, especially the bad parts. Accept your past and know that your failures and tribulations are as responsible for your identity as your successes and happy times.

On my way home from Ilan's at 4:00 a.m., tired and sore from all the manual labor, I had a little smile on my face. Which brings me to the title of this post. I created something yesterday ... something functional ... something beautiful. I envisioned it, planned it, built it, executed it through to completion and enjoyed the fruits of my labor .

And I realized something. (I've been doing that a lot lately.)

Creating makes me happy.

Consuming has never made me happy.

Consuming may amuse me, entertain me, distract me, relax me or stimulate me. But no manner of consuming in life has ever brought me anything more than passing enjoyment.

Creating is the only thing that brings me any satisfaction and happiness in my life. So I'm fortunate to have so many opportunities to create: writing, performing, dreaming, designing, planning, building, love making, photographing, campaigning for change, building communities, learning or even just cooking.

So excuse me, please. I need to go create something.