Three

I was sitting in the club with the show producer before my Joe Franklin gig this week. With 15 minutes to go the room was empty, which is unusual. Two guys came in, who had been barked (handed flyers on the street) and were a bit tentative.

"There's no one here. Hey, why should we come to the show?"

"Because we're funny!" I replied.

I find that this simple statement said with way too much enthusiasm, almost always gets a laugh. I think because it's just so strangely obvious. It's as if I'd said, "Look! I have a head!"

After a brief chat the guys left saying they'd return. I wasn't sure whether my banter had convinced them to come back or driven them away. But as they left one guy called out to the other, "That was the comic."

The comic?

I though about doing a 90 minute show myself and found the idea intriguing and daunting.

Someday.

The show almost didn't happen. At show time there was one person in the audience, a cute Venezuelan guy named Pedro ... naturally.

The producer held out a few minutes and the two guys came back. So with three, count 'em, three people she decided to proceed. Woo Hoo!

Because the room was so empty my comic buddy Jamie Jackson suggested we all sit in the audience seats, instead of huddling together in the corner like a bunch of wet puppies as we usually do. A good suggestion to be sure, but I said to Jamie, "you think by the end of the show the three people in the room who aren't comics won't notice that everyone else has gone up one at a time and told jokes?"

To which Jamie replied, "Maybe they'll panic and say 'I didn't know I was supposed to have jokes! I'm not prepared! Oh no!'"

This amused me greatly. I thought about using this on stage but decided against it since it wasn't my idea.

Jamie MC'ed the show. I always like having Jamie as the MC, which is a thankless job. He has truck loads of enthusiasm and really helps get things going. Is so much easier going on stage following Jamie's energy than to the dead air of some listless MCs.

The comic who went up right before me wasn't doing too well. The guy I'd chatted with before the show yelled out, "You suck! We want to see him!" And he pointed at me.

So that wasn't awkward at all.

So I went up. Three people. Nothing at stake. Nothing to lose. I had fun.

I tried a new joke about our local elections for Mayor that worked. It's an infantile bit making fun of one of the candidate's names, "Wiener". What a hack. Next I'll be doing "pull my finger" jokes. But must confess a feeling of deep satisfaction in getting the audience to chant "Wiener, Wiener, Wiener."

I tried rearranging my set a bit, moving the Utah autobiographical stuff into the middle instead of the front. This material either works or it doesn't. I've been racking my brains trying to figure out what the determining factor is. For a while I thought that it was mostly young audiences that didn't go for it. But some young audiences love it.

The one thing I have noticed is that audiences that don't go for the Utah stuff, nearly always go for the computer jokes, the more generic gay stuff and dick jokes.

One hypothesis that's been kicking around my head is that autobiographical material may work better after I've made them laugh a time or two. They're more likely to be interested in my back story once I've established a connection.

This sounds good on paper. I have no idea if it's correct. Playing around with the set order is my way of trying to figure this out.

Another possibility is that I might be doing something different with the delivery of which I'm not aware. There are just so many variables here. I'm pretty sure that connection, presentation, accessibility and relevance are the factors here. In time I expect the answers will come into focus.

I'm starting to be able to get a sense of an audience by watching how they react to the comics who go up before me. But it's tricky and I'm often wrong.

In the end, the only way I'm sure a bit will work is to do it and see what happens. If it's not working, lately I've been trying to adapt on the fly, to get out and do something else. I watch the pros do this with fluid mastery.

My two security blankets on stage have always been the microphone and my script. Doing crowd work, frankly, terrifies me. So I have usually stuck to my script. It's safe. But the more comfortable I get, the more chances I'm willing to take. And the more willing I am to deviate from the fucking sacred script.

I'm actually pretty loose about my set list these days. Little by little I am engaging the audience more, being chatty, reacting to comments and things that happen in the room ... just trying to be present and aware.

I'm also getting more comfortable with the idea of abruptly switching gears. If a bit is not engaging the audience, I'm the only one who will know if I decide not to finish it and start something new. In this regard I've decided that connection is far more important than continuity ... at least at a regular gig. At an audition gig, structure and continuity have a more important role.

Back to Pedro ... I wished I'd tortured him with my pathetic broken Spanish.

"Yo tomo uno refresco en el cafe con el burro con los huevos mas gigante en el mundo y una puta con queso."

"I have a refreshment in the cafe with a donkey with the most gigantic balls in the world and a whore with cheese."

This is something I do to my mother and three siblings who actually speak fluent Spanish and I think it would have been funny. But after trying the election stuff and bantering with the audience I ran out of time.

Ah well. Next time.