A Perfect Weekend

This weekend I went to Philly to headline Kelli Dunham's show, "Gayety!" and to spend some time with Kelli, Brian and Bevin. It was fabulous, fantastic and exactly what I needed after a rough month.

The show went swimmingly. We had a full house, about 35 people. The audience was 90 percent lesbians. I've never played an overwhelmingly lesbian crowd before. This made for some interesting differences in audience response. Some usually reliable jokes got nothing. And I found some big, big laughs in places I never got them before.

I also had my first experience with politically correct outrage from a fan, which was fascinating. Kelli has warned me about this kind of stuff. "Dude, you can say 'retard' if you want, but I know for a fact there will be four nurses in the audience who work with special needs kids."

I did a joke about people in floral print muumuus hating me for being naturally skinny. This provoked an angry email which I received a day later, which bewildered me. The premise of the joke is that people should not be singled out for hatred based on the shape of their bodies. This is exactly the position of "pro-fat activists". The joke even goes so far as to say that even when I am the object of a fat person's hatred for being skinny, I do not return that hatred even though it would be easy to do so.

The letter included the usual "Topic X is not funny!" I've received these sorts of letters from my family for making fun of Mormons in my act.

As I sit and think about my jokes, I'm certain I could find someone to be offended by nearly all of them. And were I to remove everything that's potentially offensive, I'd be left with virtually nothing.

But I certainly understand the writer's point of view. I continue to marvel, and to be offended myself, at the frequency with which I still hear fag jokes from straight comics in New York clubs. The same comics who think nothing of dropping the F-word know their careers would be over if they started dropping the N-word instead. Even Jon Stewart, who I adore, will drop an occasional "fag" or "queer" in his show. But I have seen every single episode of The Daily Show for a few years now and never once have I heard him use the N-word. The N-word is forbidden. It's so forbidden we can't even say the word when talking about the word, so we call it the N-word. The F-word is just naughty.

I remember John Cleese once saying in an interview that enforcing political correctness is making everyone conform to the sensibilities of the most sensitive and easily offended.

Trying to argue someone out of their sensitivities is pointless. Look at all the rednecks in the South trying to convince blacks they shouldn't be offended by the Confederate Flag. Never gonna happen. (And, BTW, I agree, the Confederate Flag is incredibly offensive when attached to a state flag.)

So what's a comic to do? I think the answer is to simply be aware of what an audiences' sensibilities are or are likely to be.

My most favorite joke of all the jokes I've ever written is my notorious "Swedish Ass Fucking Joke." I do not perform this joke for the tourists at my Times Square gig. Is it funny? Absolutely. Will it get a laugh from that crowd? Usually not. Another of my ass fucking jokes actually got "booed" at that gig once. Booed! No matter how funny I think the joke is, I'd be an idiot to ignore this.

So the lesson here is that a room full of pro-fat lesbian activists is not gonna go for the floral print muumuu jokes. Quell Shock! And no amount of explaining and justifying is going change their sensibilities.

Ah! It's just hit me. I am used to gauging how racy I can be with a conservative audience. I need to also gauge how satirical I can be on certain topics with a PC audience. Same concept. Different perspective. After all, giving up a few fat jokes is a small price to pay when they'll laugh at every one of my ass fucking jokes.

Getting back to the show ... it was fantastic ... my best show yet. I had planned to plan and rehearse the thing to death. But in the days leading up to it, I found I just wasn't in the mood. "I know this stuff."

I made a set list the morning of the show and reviewed the scripts for some of the bits I hadn't done in a while on the bus. That was it. And it was plenty.

I went in, relaxed and confident. The minor PC issue aside, this was an incredibly sympathetic audience. I knew I wouldn't have to "work" to "get" them.

The show just flowed naturally. I had a good time chatting with them. And I found a new intro bit I've been wanting to figure out. I have a bit to introduce being gay to straight audiences. Now I have a bit for gay audiences.

I did a lot of writing early this year. Based on some industry feedback I received, the second half of this year I've been trying to catch up the quality of my performance to the quality of my writing. I feel like I have now achieved that goal. A new standard has been set. The bar has been raised. I have a new, stable platform from which to build and grow.

I'm ready to take it to the next level. I'm ready for what's next.