I Am *NOT* a "Cynic"

I am have been called cynical or "a cynic" many times.

Now, usually, when a lot of people make the same observation there is a least a morsel of truth at its center. It is true, I am many things. But in the case of the allegation of "cynicism," I object.

So why then have so many people called me a cynic?

I believe there are two reasons.

1. A misunderstanding of the word, "cynic".

2. A misunderstanding of my basic motives and character.

So let me begin with the word itself.

Merriam-Webster Online defines a cynic as, "a fault finding captious critic; especially : one who believes that human conduct is motivated wholly by self-interest."

Consider also sarcasm, "a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain."

I willing, gleefully even, admit to sarcasm. I am deeply sarcastic. Sarcasm permeates my world view. It anchors me. But sarcasm is not cynicism. And I think a lot of people use the word "cynic" to simply mean, one who is often sarcastic.

I see beauty in art. I seek grace in people. And I see charity and compassion in the world.

I am also an optimist and a romantic. Really. I try to look for the best in situations and the value that each person has to offer. I don't claim to always succeed. Too often I have succumbed to petty urges and glib observations.

But still, I have my passions and they are many. They lift me up. They are all that stand between me and my demons.

I have hope for the future of our species. I firmly believe that the only thing that can possibly save us from the flaws of human nature are the strengths of human nature.

The greatest moments of my life all have one thing in common ... art. Whether it's theater, film, fine arts, food, laughter, the company of friends and family, a clever turn of a phrase, or, greatest of all, the tingling touch of a lover ... art makes it all worth it. Art gives us meaning for the few moments we're here.

Yet as odd as it might seem to you at first suggestion, my dear reader, optimism and romance are not incompatible with sarcasm. In fact I think they balance each other nicely.

Unmoderated optimism is foolish and gullible. And unbridled romanticism is at best sappy, and at worst absurd and self deluded.

But a cynic sees only the bad. Cynicism is a corrosive, overriding perspective that taints all perceptions and prevents the viewer from ever offering benefit of doubt or finding the value in a person that mitigates their weakness.

I see people's flaws. But I make it a policy to try to see their strengths as well, in particular because my own flaws run so deep and are of the variety that are obvious and abrasive. I'm grateful to the people who I hold dear for having made the effort to see my strengths and forgive me my many faults.

This is what saves me from being "a cynic". I see just enough of the good side of life to save me from falling off that particular cliff.

And that's a good thing. I have met a few, true cynics. And there is nothing I find more repulsive. Cynics spew forth a constant stream of bile, condemning everything. They see not, the good in peoples' hearts. They see only their shortcomings and failures. They expect the worst in everything and often seem disappointed when things work out well or their evil assumptions fail to be borne out.

The company of cynics is exhausting. They pick and pick until nothing is left standing. It is easier after all, to destroy than to create.

So call me "sarcastic," "ironic," "sardonic," or even just "a smart ass." But, please, I beg you, reserve the word "cynic" only for those who truly deserve it.

And then run. Run like the wind.



P.S. This post turned out to a far deeper, brutally-honest and frightening self-examination than I'd expected. I'd planned to just dash off a quick note about linguistics and ended up with all this. That's the funny thing about writing. It often takes one to unexpected places.