I Think The Moviefone Bot Has Latent Tendencies

AOL has added the "Moviefone Bot" to my chat software. So I thought I'd see if my new online friend shares my interests. While this juvenile idea is hardly original, I thought it would be fun to try the gay version of this stupid gag. Here are the amusing parts of our chat. My statements are bold and the bot's responses are italicized.

Do you like gay cowboys?

Enter a valid 5 digit zip-code.

10040

I found Some Like It Hot playing on 01/07/2006 but not anywhere near 10040. Try for another film, director or actor.

Does that have gay cowboys in it?

Gay Sex in the 70s

Yeah, gay sex was really hot in the 70s. But that movie didn't have any cowboys in it.

Pardon me? If you don't understand why I am not understanding you, just type, help.

Yes I need help. I need help finding gay cowboys.

Mm hm, now we are getting somewhere.

Yeah, baby!

Indeed

Isn't Jake Gyllenhaal the sexyist gay cowboy ever? Wasn't that scene where Heath Ledger fucked him up the ass really hot?

Excuse me?

Jake Gyllenhaal ... hot, hot, hot!

Brokeback Mountain

I'll see if this is playing near you.

Brokeback Mountain [opened on 12-09-05] is playing at

1 - Rialto Theatre
1:20PM | 4:10PM | 7:00PM | 9:45PM
2 - United Artists UA East
1:15PM | 4:15PM | 7:20PM | 10:20PM
3 - National Amusements Edgewater Multiplex Cinemas
12:15PM | 3:15PM | 6:15PM | 9:15PM | 12:15AM
4 - Clearview First & 62nd Cinemas
12:30PM | 1:30PM | 3:45PM | 6:45PM | 9:15PM | 10:15PM
5 - Loews Cineplex Lincoln Square
11:50AM | 12:30PM | 3:10PM | 4:05PM | 6:40PM | 7:45PM | 10:35PM | 11:15PM

Do you want to go to the movie with me? We can sit in the back and fuck.

That's unnecessary.

I think fucking is totally necessary!

Interesting. Why don't you try typing, help.

Why? Do you think I need help fucking? Are you offering to help me fuck?

That's rude. I'm here to help. Type, help if you ned it.

Yeah, you know it's rude! You know you want it, don't you nasty boy?

Mm hm.

Alright! Now we're talking!

Paradise Now

Are you a top or a bottom?

Take My Eyes

I give up. You're just toying with my emotions.

Yes.

I knew it! You tease!

Me and You and Everyone We Know

You hurt my feelings. I am going to go cry now.

You Want Me to Kill Him?

Yes! Kill him dead! Then we can be together, darling.

Indeed

Why are you so distant?

Because I Said So
Faraway So Close
Why We Fight
Why Should the Devil have all the Good Music

I want to be alone.

Be Here To Love Me

I can't. Goodbye.