Fellowship of the Really Pissed Off Nerds

OK, kids. It's time for remedial question and answer time.

QUESTION: Who loves Lord of the Rings?

ANSWER: Nerds

QUESTION: When you offer a nerd a choice between less of something the nerd loves or more of something the nerd loves, which does the nerd choose?

ANSWER: More

QUESTION: Who are the early adopters of high-definition home theater?

ANSWER: Nerds

QUESTION: Which release of Lord of the Rings offers more Lord of the Rings, the theatrical release or the extended edition?

ANSWER: The extended edition

QUESTION: So given that nerds love Lord of the Rings, have high-definition home theater and want more of what they love, which version of Lord of the Rings is New Line Cinema considering releasing on hi-def DVD?

ANSWER: Why, the theatrical release without the extended scenes, of course. (Because everything on the Internet is true.)

Fuck you, New Line Cinema. Fuck you right in the ear.

I'm not touching your stinking hi-def Lord of the Rings DVDs until you put out the extended editions.

Of course, it's all a bit academic, since they haven't release or even announced anything official yet. But I've never let that get in the way of a good rant.

Oh yeah ... and fuck you too, George Lucas. How many freaking times to I have to buy the Star Wars Trilogy?

Grumble, grumble, grumble.