America's First Faggot

I think a Hillary Clinton Presidency has the potential to be greatest presidency in American history.

Now before you get all excited, dear reader, hear me out.

My belief is not based on the woman or her policies. It's based on a fundamental problem about which I don't think our nation has thought, but which I have. Not only have I identified what will be the major problem with our first woman president, but I have the solution.

Hillary Clinton would be our first Madame President.
So dear old Bill would become our first, First Gentleman.

And here's the problem ... who's gonna do the girly shit in the White House? Hillary didn't want do it when she was First Lady. So she sure as hell isn't gonna want to do it when she's President. And can you see Bill planning parties and picking out curtains? If we leave the decorating and entertaining to Bubba, it'll end up being paintings of dogs playing poker and cheese fries all the time.

No. No. No.

So a new position would have to be created. And I think you'll agree, this is the best idea I've ever had.

We need, America's First Faggot.

We get Carson Kressley to live in the White House with Hillary and Bill and do all the fabulous stuff.

Just think, Carson could invite all the world's leaders for a three day, non-stop party. Scissor Sisters play the state dinner and RuPaul performs during cocktails in the Rose Garden afterwards. And what would happen in the Lincoln Bedroom you wonder? All strippers all the time. Scandal could be avoided by, instead of keeping it all secret, producing the whole thing as a pay-per-view HBO special with the proceeds going to a national campaign to help homeless gay teens.

It's brilliant. It would work. We could solve all our foreign policy problems in one disco and booze-fueled, long weekend.

So vote Carson Kressley for America's First Faggot and make the White House fabulous!