Me + iPhone = A Very Special Kind of Stupid

Yesterday I went LaGuardia to head to Mexico for my fabulous Mexican scuba holiday. And now ... 24 hours later ... here I sit ... still in America ... at Newark Airport.

I wish I had a great story to tell, like, “A gang of May Kay Stylists hijacked the plane because they ran out Final Net Hairspray on Long Island and it was the fastest way to get to New Jersey.” Alas the explanation is far more mundane.

I am an idiot ... a huge, raving, colossal idiot.

I arrived at the airport a healthy hour in advance and had no problems with check in or security. And then, thanks to listening to music videos on my iPhone, I missed my flight while they paged me repeatedly over the P.A.

I’ve missed subway stops plenty of times thanks to my iPod/iPhone. But never have I missed a plane.

I was terrified that my ultra-not-changeable, not-refundable, frequent-flyer ticket would mean I lost out on my whole holiday. I watched my plane pull away without me. And when I failed to get the standby seat on my last chance to make my connection, I left the airport filled with despair and shame.

But travel gods smiled on me. The airline rebooked me onto a flight the next day, this one non-stop! But it gets even better. I got upgraded to first class and also received $800 from the airline for volunteering to get bumped to a flight 2 hours later. Ever the travel perks schemer, I made them throw in a pass for the first class lounge and a meal.

Stupid never felt so good.

From now on when I arrive at the airport I am setting an alarm on my iPhone twenty minutes before boarding that will interrupt whatever trash, europop boy band videos are conspiring to turn me into a retard.