I'm The One Your Mother Warned You About

I'm fond of saying that I'm a bad influence on everyone around me ... drink more, fuck more, stay out late, ditch work for fun.... But really my goal is not so much to encourage people to do bad or destructive things. It's encouraging people to indulge ... indulge passion, desire, impulsiveness, decadence, whatever. Just do something to remind yourself you're alive while you are.

As Auntie Mame said, "Live, live, live! Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death."

Which brings me to my point. I believe there should be more good sex in the world and if it's not me then it may as well be people I know. (Then I get to hear about it later.) I got a friend laid this weekend. It isn't the first time. But this time it was notable for several reasons.

1. It was a hetero hookup.
2. My new friend and I had recently decided to help each other meet people. Realizing our differing orientations would make this tricky, we agreed to alternate playing "wingman".
3. So having entered into our pact, my friend got some nookie on our second excursion.

Not bad, eh?

Don't you wish your wingman was hot like me?

Now before I break my own arm patting myself on the back, let me admit that I nearly botched it. Oh, I did a fine job of target acquisition. But then I broke one of my own rules for myself by making a crass and awkward joke calling attention to the two love birds' interactions.

Learn from my folly. Never do this.

My rule was and remains, "Never interfere in other peoples' flirtations." Big kids can sort these things out for themselves.

If I can't keep to this simple rule, I have no business playing wingman.