Stop Everything You Are Doing

Drop everything you are doing this very instant.

Günther has two new songs, Obsession and My Boudoir, which include lyrics such as "lick me everywhere" and "my fantasy, naked just for you".

Squee!

A Dilema Only A Nerd Could Have

I've been playing BioShock, which is gorgeous with a sophisticated narrative and is generally, all around, freakin' awesome.



I was getting toward the end of the BioShock story when Halo 3 was released, which is gorgeous with a vast, incredible galaxy to explore and is generally, all around, freakin' awesome.



So now when I play BioShock, I wish I was playing Halo 3. But if I play Halo 3 I feel like I'm cheating on BioShock.

I need my mother call and say, "You finish your delicious, dystopian, art deco, first-person shooter, young man or you won't get any delicious, thrilling, science-fiction first-person shooter! Do you know there are children in China who don't even get to play Pong?"

So instead I'm playing Burnout Revenge and just hoping the pain will go away.



Of course, all of this is just to get my mind off World of Warcraft.



What a Dork.

America's First Faggot

I think a Hillary Clinton Presidency has the potential to be greatest presidency in American history.

Now before you get all excited, dear reader, hear me out.

My belief is not based on the woman or her policies. It's based on a fundamental problem about which I don't think our nation has thought, but which I have. Not only have I identified what will be the major problem with our first woman president, but I have the solution.

Hillary Clinton would be our first Madame President.
So dear old Bill would become our first, First Gentleman.

And here's the problem ... who's gonna do the girly shit in the White House? Hillary didn't want do it when she was First Lady. So she sure as hell isn't gonna want to do it when she's President. And can you see Bill planning parties and picking out curtains? If we leave the decorating and entertaining to Bubba, it'll end up being paintings of dogs playing poker and cheese fries all the time.

No. No. No.

So a new position would have to be created. And I think you'll agree, this is the best idea I've ever had.

We need, America's First Faggot.

We get Carson Kressley to live in the White House with Hillary and Bill and do all the fabulous stuff.

Just think, Carson could invite all the world's leaders for a three day, non-stop party. Scissor Sisters play the state dinner and RuPaul performs during cocktails in the Rose Garden afterwards. And what would happen in the Lincoln Bedroom you wonder? All strippers all the time. Scandal could be avoided by, instead of keeping it all secret, producing the whole thing as a pay-per-view HBO special with the proceeds going to a national campaign to help homeless gay teens.

It's brilliant. It would work. We could solve all our foreign policy problems in one disco and booze-fueled, long weekend.

So vote Carson Kressley for America's First Faggot and make the White House fabulous!

More Wheaton

I found a video version of Wil Wheaton's PAX keynote. What strikes me about this is how well he knows his audience and how well he plays to them.

The Sound of W

"William decided he won't let his weary heart wither his will, so he wept quietly, then weathered his woebegone mood and went back into the night with a wanton gaze, as is his wont to do."

...

For no other reason than I like the sounds of words, I challenged myself to write a sentence containing won't, wont, woebegone and wanton. As you can see it went all wiggly.

Boy Band Brat Flags Some Seriously Kinky Shit

In his HBO concert, Future Sex/Love Show, Justin Timberlake wore a purple and fuscia, paisley hanky in his right back pocket.

This obvious display of the Gay Hanky Code means our favorite little pretty boy brat has piercings, a fetish for boxer shorts and likes to get spanked.

Can this really be a surprise to anyone?

Whole Foods Speaks Nerd

Ensign Crusher, You're So Dreamy

I am so gay for Wil Wheaton. Not only is he a total hottie, but he's smart and funny as all git out. He delivered the keynote address at Penny Arcade Expo, an annual gathering of video gamers. He recounts his childhood growing up in the 80s being a nerd. In telling his story he tells my story.

This magnificent bit of storytelling would be right at home on This American Life. Whether or not you're a gamer, this is worth a listen.

Thanks, Wil. You're awesome.

What are you doing Friday night?

Native American Heritage

For no plausible reasons whatsoever, I seem to be on an Indian reservation, in a casino. Please send help.