Montezuma’s Modest Disdain

So you’ve come to Mexico, wanting the complete and authentic experience, but you don’t have the two weeks for a full case of Montezuma’s Revenge? May I then recommend you pop into a local, fast-food taqueria and pick up a quick case of 36-hour food poisoning?

Oh sure, it doesn’t offer the full ride you get from e-coli or dysentery. But it’s still a whole lotta fun.

Planning is essential. Have on hand yogurt, Gatorade and ten liters of bottled water. You may as well go with bland white bread to provide the raw materials for building the beaver dam you’re gonna need in your gut, ‘cause you’re not going to be able to keep anything else down.

And finally, for the full, five-star-luxury experience, I suggest Mexican maid service. She’s there to wash your underwear for you. About once an hour is good.