Word of the Day, Real Life Edition

A lot of my friends are literary types. So I occasionally find my vocabulary lacking and feel a smidge self conscious about it. I tried subscribing to one of those Word of the Day email newsletters. It seems like a good idea. But I lost interest quickly due to the lack of context.

So I play my own little version I like to call "Word of the Day, Real Life Edition". It goes like this ... when you encounter a word you don't understand, look it up. I keep a couple bookmarks right on my toolbar for this. Merriam-Webster has a friendly interface but can be a little limited. Dictionary.com tends to have more comprehensive info but has an ugly UI and lots of ads.

What I used to do with words I didn't know was just slide by on context. The other day, pressed for time, a friend suggested if we were to eat out, we proceed with "alacrity". Clearly he meant let's dine quickly. But the process of making a mental note and looking the word up later is quite a lot of fun.

As a result, I'll always associate the word with that evening. And I'll always remember now that "alacrity" includes an element of cheerfulness. These associations actually cause me to learn and remember. And I quite enjoy the process.

Today's word is "verisimilitude", a word every writer should know.

Gayer and Gayer and Gayer

I often worry I'm not doing enough on my quest to be the gayest nerd on the planet. Oh sure, I founded a gay board game club. I performed a gay wedding of gay gamers in a gay guild in World of Warcraft. I go to tech shows and take pictures of both the gadgets and the nerd hotties. I masturbate to German gay soap operas while listening to Kylie Minogue. (Who doesn't?) But as I reflect fondly on events such as these I always wonder, "what can I do to totally fag out today?"

Today is the 19th anniversary of my coming out. I didn't plan anything special. I was thinking I might watch Flash Gordon again. That's pretty gay, right? But it just didn't feel like I was doing anything to up the ante.

So I did what I always do when I feel like I'm not achieving enough, surf Google Images for pics of hot guys. And I've just now learned that my coming out day, today, is the anniversary of the invention of the word "homosexual" itself.

Whew!

Thanks, Internet. I feel gayer now.

The Sound of W

"William decided he won't let his weary heart wither his will, so he wept quietly, then weathered his woebegone mood and went back into the night with a wanton gaze, as is his wont to do."

...

For no other reason than I like the sounds of words, I challenged myself to write a sentence containing won't, wont, woebegone and wanton. As you can see it went all wiggly.

Would You Please Dumb That Down?

Tonite I tried to submit a movie review to Netflix and received this reply,

"This review contains one or more words that is larger than 25 characters. All words in a review must be smaller than 25 characters. Please change any words that exceed this length."

Apparently we Americans need to be protected from fancy words.

The Brown Jokes

Jerry Dante, a smart and thoughtful guy, commented on my blog here that, "Taking a shit will always be funny because it's something everyone does." Jerry has written more on the topic here and asked me to respond.

OK. Hmmmm ... I see where you're coming from here, Jerry. But sorry, man. But I gotta call this one like I see it.... And "shit is always funny" is such a straight guy attitude ... or at least a guy attitude.

When a guy goes into shit jokes (and it's almost always a guy) I tune out. A little voice in my head just says, "This is the best you could come up with? The most interesting thing about you is that you take a shit? Time on stage is precious, and this is what you want to do with yours?"

Sadly, shit-joke hacks literally seem to have nothing better to talk about. Or perhaps more likely, they're not willing to take a risk and expose themselves by talking about something personal.

I once sat in a workshop and listened to the owner of one of NYC's top clubs tell a comic, "don't do shit jokes in my club."

While maybe not all club owners have this attitude, I think most do. Ignore this at your own peril.

"But Eddie Murphy did it!"

Yeah, and Jeanine Garofalo did a Comedy Central special, reading from her notebook which she had on stage. (That's her in the cartoon. I couldn't bring myself to use an image that's appropriate for the topic. Ick.)

But these comics already have a following, earning them a platform from which they can do, just about whatever they want. Those of us down here at the bottom haven't earned that yet.

I firmly believe that shit jokes and performing from notes will not move you up the ladder.

Jerry, you've certainly helped me understand why guys write about shit. But I'm no more interested in the topic than before.

Perhaps my perspective will help guys understand why some people (chicks in particular) tune out on these kinds of topics. I can just see the comics up there thinking, "but people, takin' a shit is funny!"

And I can see a large part of the audience thinking, "maybe, but we just don't care."

I think ass fucking jokes are hilarious. Funny is funny, right?

But I've learned (from painful bombing) that if I ignore an audiences' sensibilities they'll quickly decide to ignore me back.

1,001 Ways To Say ... You're Such A Fag!

Just when I think I've heard every bit of gay slang and slander out there, I hear another. Most of them I find funny. Some are just gross. Here's the latest to catch my ear.

Freckle Puncher

Freckle is Australian slang for anus. And ... well ... you can figure it out.

The term has also migrated to America, but seems to only be in general usage in Southern California.

This one is almost cute.

"Want to come into the bedroom with me, my adorable little freckle puncher?"

Marvelous Nuances

I love language. I do. All the twists and nuances and shades of meaning fascinate me no end.

I often find myself searching for exactly the right word to express myself. I find it deeply satisfying when I land upon just the right turn of a phrase.

One thing I particularly enjoy is when there a several words that all express the same general idea but with subtle differences, like pernicious, baneful, noxious, deleterious and detrimental. Or how about sarcastic, ironic, caustic, satirical and sardonic?

I'm also quite fond of it when words from other languages wander into common usage ... like schadenfreude.

And then there are words that are just plain fun ... words like giggle, sparkle, doily and one of my all-time favorites ... callipygous.